Cemetery etiquette for spooky season (and beyond!)

In the 19th and early 20th centuries, before there were public parks, people would have picnics and hang out in cemeteries. Today, while we have access to plenty of parks, visitors still head to those sacred grounds for increasingly popular seasonal cemetery tours to explore the interred residents that once inhabited these lands, and their ornate decorative headstones.

But, according to New York State Parks, “This higher number of visitors is, unfortunately, often causing unrepairable damage to grave markers or headstones.”

Here are some tips from New York State Parks on Cemetery Etiquette for spooky season:

Cemetery Etiquette

• Remember: Cemeteries are scared spaces. Be respectful, limit loud noises or the desire to play audio from your device without headphones. While you may be there to enhance Halloween, someone else may be there to grieve or visit family or friends.

• No touching! 17th through early 19th century stones are thin, and often contain cracks or fissures you may not see. Larger markers are usually assembled using multiple pieces, which may or may not be fully attached or stable. While it is tempting, do not touch, lean on, or grab headstones. They can fall over, break, or cause physical damage.

• Rubbing is a no-no. While the stone may appear solid, applying pressure has broken many early stones. Take a photo instead.

• Watch for Footstones. Footstones were used on and off through the centuries and are often scattered throughout a cemetery. Their low profile, often rising only four or five inches off the ground, can result in a serious fall and the destruction of any headstones you may fall against or use to support yourself. 

• Look out for ground indents! Over time graves can sink, creating an indent or the appearance of a gently rolling landscape. Grass may make the ground appear more solid than it is. Be careful stepping on an indented surface; you may sink into a hole. If possible, walk around them, rather than over them.   

• Limit running and play among the graves. Although tempting, running and playing can harm gravestones or lead to injuries.

• Leave the stones! Theft of gravestones is drastically increasing, especially from smaller, rural graveyards. These markers belong to the person buried there. Stealing grave markers or headstones can disrupt historic research or negatively impact archaeologically sensitive sites, and it is just wrong. Leave all stones or markers where they are and in the position in which you find them.

• What to do if you break a stone? Contact the management of the cemetery. There is usually a sign near the front entrance of the cemetery informing you of who maintains the location. In larger urban settings, a manager’s office generally can be found on site.  

Related:

Red Hook Cemetery Crawl: https://www.historicredhook.org/upcoming-events/2023cemeterycrawl

Sleepy Hollow Walking Tours: https://sleepyhollowcemetery.org/walking-tours/

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